Thursday, April 29, 2010

Would it matter anyway?

Yesterday I was at the gas station buying my regular fix of red bull and twizzlers. This is nothing out of the ordinary: I get my stuff, stand in line, chat up the cashier and leave. But the routine was interrupted on this day. See, I always ask the cashier if he/she is having a good day and the response is consistently a rehearsed "I'm doing alright!" But, on this particular day he replied, "I can't complain…and if I did it wouldn't matter." He laughed and proceeded to overcharge me for fundamental things (twizzlers and a red bull) which should be freely given to every person on a daily basis... Forever. However, I found myself speechless and unable to find any response for his statement. What he said was powerful in a way that I couldn't explain. How could a person say, with a smile on his face, that his complaints/opinions don't matter? Should they matter? And if so, to whom should it matter? I could hear in his voice the slight disappointment that suggested he believed that someone should care, but that's not the case. He wasn't speaking about having someone to listen to either. For it seemed like his complaints couldn't or wouldn't be changed by conversing with another person.. And I'm sure he wasn't talking about a day at work. He was talking about life in general. I went to sleep thinking about it and when I awoke it was among my first thoughts. I think that this is the greatest appeals of religion. Because we know that there are things that feel out of control in our lives, we need to know that someone or somehow, these things matter and are taken care of. So that we can even dream of find stillness within our soul.

1 comment:

  1. It is true, sometimes it seems like when you have nothing or no one, you still have religion, where you feel that someone cares about your life. This seems selfish, almost, to think of belonging instead of glorifying God, but who knows??? I can't pretend that I know. But I want people to feel like they matter, and since I can't attend to everyone, I hope that people find some way to feel love.

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